BIG THINGS and little things…LITTLE THINGS and big thing…

By:  Talyn Terzian-Gilmour

There are days (many, as of late) when I feel totally overwhelmed.  When did life get to be so hectic…all the time?  I find myself asking, when was the last time I felt totally and completely relaxed?  I can think of a vacation that Mr. Niceguy and I took…our honeymoon actually…when I was so relaxed and didn’t cast a worry about what I ate, drank or the dreaded “C word”.  Life was endless and full of possibility.  I recall lying on a lounger, my discman headphones on, listening to the Backstreet Boys, basking in the Hawaiian sun…

Well, the Hawaiian sun is not shining on me right now.  Instead, I’ve been in a nonstop spincycle or, better yet, a pressure cooker, for the better part of the last two months.  Take this morning.  By 8:00am, I was elbow deep in making enough spaghetti sauce to cover at least four dinners and perhaps even a lunch or two, while also starting a yoghurt-mint soup and blending myself a detox-approved smoothie. ***ack, ack, BLECH!***  Without a moment to spare, I cleaned the kitchen, got myself dressed and made sure the 8 year old was ready for school, costume in hand, to head out to his optometrist appointment.  Now two hours later, following a whopping eye doctor’s bill and (what felt like) hours picking out glasses (red, no blue, no red, no blue) I’m here, at work, doing research to write a new company policy on…you guessed it…marijuana, and in less than two hours, the roller coaster will find a new hill to climb and dive from, when I do my multiple pick-ups, supervise homework, finish off the soup, and sew a sock puppet for the 12 year old’s drama class while answering the door to give out the candy that I myself cannot eat thanks to the detox I’m on…again…because despite the fact that my brain loves bread, cheese, chips and pasta, my body doth protest…in the form of an added 7 pounds of baggage.

Yet, while I’m standing on a mental precipice, and staring down into an abyss, I stop myself.  I was recently at the funeral of someone who I now realize, had a bigger impact on me than I initially thought. She was someone I volunteered with and I was always amazed at her tenacity, daring and focus…even when we disagreed.  She had also shared with me at one point, that she was considering changing the career she had loved for many years for something completely different and had started taking courses. I admired that then and still do now. While at her funeral, I was asked my thoughts about why the “C-word” is so prevalent now.  Why so many around us have succumbed to this horrible and sometimes ruthless sickness.  I questioned our food, our air, the environment…he simply said, “I think it’s stress.”

In this moment, when I think of those words, I can’t help but caution myself: don’t make little things into big things, instead try to make the big things into little things.  Perspective is an awesome thing…finding it, is the trick.  I’ve said this before and will probably say it until my last breath.  So, when I’m feeling like the spincycle is making me lose control, and like tears of frustration are going to stain my cheeks, I find perspective by thinking of these…I hope they help you.

Snow days: school AND work cancelled.

Rainy Saturdays…when I have to be a hermit.

Anything Christmas:  music, lights, presents, hectic malls with people running around the find gifts.

Nearly anything French:  the language, the music, the fashion, the croissants!

An unexpected discount taken at the cash register. 

Finding money in a jeans pocket.

Mashed potatoes, French fries, poutine, potato chips…it’s all good.

Packing for a vacation.

No homework for the weekend.

The Office and Michael Scott.

Mail.  Not bills or flyers.  Mail.

An ice cold beer, an orange juice and cranberry vodka cocktail with a twist of lime, and a simple blended whiskey on ice in any kind of celebration.

Dancing without abandon.

Trying to reach the high notes in ABBA songs.

Knowing I can reach most of the notes in Madonna songs.

Laughter and unexpected hugs from any of my boys – definitely no unexpected hugs from anyone else.

A kiss on the head from Mr. Niceguy.

The smile you get when you see someone laughing so hard it makes their sides split.

A long walk on a summer morning before anyone is awake.

Warm breezes on bare shoulders during hot summer nights.

Watching fish swim, palm trees sway, waves crash, listening to the rustle of dried leaves roll on the ground, and the way the air just sort of stands still but has an almost electric charge before the fattest snowflakes fall…